Offbeat Karoo Part I

They say the dry spaces of the world attract eccentrics, and South Africa’s Karoo is no exception. CHRIS MARAIS goes in search of the legends and the whacky characters who make this the world’s most people-friendly desert.

Harry Potter & the Beer Swilling Horse

My new life as a gypsy Karoo photo-journalist trawling these vast arid lands for the interesting and the downright bizarre has brought me to the kitchens and the kraals of people I now call friends.

They’re not really captains of industry. They’re oddballs, creatives, outsiders, unusuals, tumbleweeds who have drifted the world and found themselves at home in the small villages of the vast Karoo. They’re as nutty and wonderful as the environment they live in.

I like to nose around country graveyards. You can pick up all sorts of important local detail among the dead. In my new home town of Cradock, I found the grave of Harry Potter, a “beloved husband” who died here at the age of 46. Hmm. What would author JK Rowling think?

Just up the road is the Victoria Manor, which has been feeding and accommodating travellers since 1840. People still talk about the local farmer who used to ride his horse up the stairs and into the hotel bar, where the steed was given beer in a Cadillac hubcap. And the farmer had a double brandy.

The Fish & The Daggaboer

And when the summer comes to Cradock, it’s time for the Hansa Powerade Fish River Canoe Marathon, commonly known as “The Fish” in these parts. In addition to the hardy canoeing fraternity, the event is attended by hundreds of students who dress up, party down and generally transform the occasion into The Great Fish River Mardi Gras. Boatloads of Elvises have been spotted shooting the weirs of this wonderful river.

Fifty klicks south of Cradock on the Port Elizabeth road is the Daggaboer Padstal, probably the most famous roadside stop in all of South Africa. No, they don’t farm or sell marijuana around here, the intriguing origins of this name are conveniently hidden in the mists of time. But the old time adventurers do record that farmers used to cultivate “the weed” in reasonably large amounts for their workers.

Today, however, Daggaboer is a must-stop for mighty meaty pies, fresh kudu biltong, ginger beer brewed from scratch and a lengthy country conversation with the cheerful owner, Charl Pansegrouw.

The Guests & The Ghosts

Further south, there’s a turnoff to Ann’s Villa, a rather imposing old homestead with a wooden mansion, a trading store and a smithy. It’s an out-of-the-way guest house these days, but friends of a friend heard the following story about Ann’s Villa, and now we’re all keen to visit in one large, noisy group with a firm reliance on bravery in numbers.

It’s New Year’s Eve. A couple arrive at night, knock on the door for accommodation, are welcomed in and discover a huge end-of-year celebration on the go. They drop their bags in the room and go down and join the happy throng. Delicious food, good wines and interesting conversations follow, until the early hours when they troop upstairs to bed.

They wake up on New Year’s Day. There’s no one about. Cobwebs everywhere. In fact, it’s obvious the place hasn’t been lived in for years. Believe it – or not.

The Dames & The Dance Hall

Swing west towards Steytlerville where, on the outskirts, you’ll find a crenellated Art Deco-style building that looks more like a cake in the desert than a fine dining establishment. That’s the Karroo Theatrical Hotel, where they serve good grub and a Saturday night cabaret that will knock your socks off.

My friend Mark Hinds plays the piano while Jacques Rabie dons the high pumps and the sequined stage dress and the greasepaint and gives it hell up there on stage. Cabaret in the desert. It sounds insane but the people come streaming out to see the show every weekend.

To Hell & Back

At the gateway to the Little Karoo lies the village of Prince Albert, home of the famous ghosts of the Swartberg Hotel. There, they’ll tell you all about the spooks in the paintings, the poltergeist who wanders the corridors and the odd flying vase in the night.

There’s even a ghost up in the marvellous Swartberg Pass, one of the finest mountain drives you will ever do. They say one Chrisjan Swanepoel, a passenger in an Oudtshoorn-bound coach, was shot up there by an idiot of a wagon driver who was passing by. And old Chrisjan is still up there, fuming.

Nevertheless, you’ll find a turnoff to Die Hel (The Hell, AKA Gamkaskloof) up on the Swartberg Pass. If your vehicle is sturdy and you’re feeling brave, then do the drive down and ask for Annetjie Joubert at the shop. She’ll tell you all about life in this deserted valley, currently run by CapeNature as a reserve. And if you ask nicely, she’ll sell you a bumper sticker saying you’ve gone to Hell and back.