Nosh Spots of the Karoo

We love to eat in the Karoo. And then we love to drink. And then we tell tall stories until it’s time for bed. And if you like all that, come with me. I’ll show you some fine feasting places out here in the Heartland...

Cradock Feasts

Apart from being a landscape photographer, the best way to experience the Karoo is to bite it. And then drink it.

 Let’s begin with our little river town of Cradock. When we have the urge for a fallow deer sosatie, we head out on the Mortimer road five klicks from town to a place called Karoo Kraal. We’d normally go with our mates and stay ‘till late enjoying the outdoor ambience and steaming food cooked over fires in big black pots. Sometimes musicians like magical Valiant Swart and Oom Ollie Viljoen blow through town, and then they play for us out at the Karoo Kraal.

If we want to show off to out-of-towners, we drag them over to the Victoria Manor and expose them to classical lamb shanks. When they’ve had about all the red meat a gouty toe can stand, we whisk them off to Mila’s for a plate of pasta, a giant pizza or some of that famous Karoo vegetable called chicken.

Head to the Schreiner Tea Room in Market Street for a hearty plate of tomato bredie, or a wicked Karoo tapas meal with the best roosterkoek and farm butter this side of the equator.

The Padstal Craze

Just 50 km south of Cradock is the Dagga Boer’s Neck Padstal. Here you will be fed Masterton’s coffee, home-brewed ginger beer and venison pie. Ask for a side dish of slap hakskeentjies…

Speaking of padstalle, these wonderful roadside shops are all the rage out here in the country these days. It’s a sign of the Slow Movement taking over the platteland. You walk into these shops at your peril, because there’s so much to buy inside. Preserves, witblits, all manner of dried meats, lovely mohair blankets, fresh fruits, cheeses, tarts and crafts are all for sale at mostly reasonable prices.

On Saturday nights anywhere in the Karoo – and here we’re talking about 100 towns spread out over 40% of South Africa’s land surface – you just lift your nose to the heavens and catch the whiff of millions of legs of lamb roasting away.

Dame Leyla Rocks the Karoo

Just outside the town of Steytlerville is the Karroo Theatrical Hotel.

This Art Deco wedding cake in the middle of a scrub desert lost its charm over the years and turned to rubbish until Jacques Rabie and Mark Hinds from Cape Town bought the place, jazzed it up and turned it into the Karroo Theatrical Hotel. Now it’s one of the iconic destinations of the Karoo.

Jacques, who does a great drag act (The New! Revamped! Steytlerville Follies!) on weekends, is also the cook. He makes sure there’s a lamb roasting on Saturday nights, but he’s equally famous for his tuna and egg tartlet starters.

Sophie’s Choice

Down in Willowmore, Sophie’s Choice offers you great cappuccino, cake, lasagna, tramezzinis, lamb shanks and an excellent chicken salad to fortify you on your trips into the Baviaanskloof World Heritage Site. Also, check out the Parisian-style courtyard.

Nieu Bethesda

Now you’re in Nieu Bethesda, featuring The Owlhouse and the tragic life of Helen Martins. Just hop over the river to the Sneeuberg Brewery & Two Goats Deli, where Andre Cilliers will serve you three kinds of draught beer and a fantastic platter of kudu salami, fresh breads and all manner of goat’s cheese.

Cross the dry Gats River again and you find The Karoo Lamb Restaurant, owned and run by Ian and Katrin Alleman.

There’s usually something hot and hearty, like lamb roast or venison potjie, waiting for the weary traveler. Look out for Ian Alleman, the man with the wide-brimmed hat (and, in most seasons, bare feet), tending to his array of black pots on blazing fires right there in the street.

Vegetarians note: The Karoo Lamb also does wonderful meat-free dishes. And your sweet tooth will delight in their puddings: Snow White & the Seven Dwarves (ice cream with Smarties) and ricotta cheese with Karoo honey and walnuts.

Skrik Vir Niks Country

Winter is hunting season in the Karoo, where men are men and the kudu are a bit nervous. Somerset East has a Biltong Festival that skriks vir niks, Calvinia has a Meat Festival where you must try the skilpaadjies and pofadders, which involve liver, intestines, kidney fat and many grandmothers’ secret sauces.

Down in the Little Karoo is Ronnie's Sex Shop and right next to the bar is the Roadkill Café, where they serve a killer carrot cake, worth crossing the vlaktes for.

Out in the Hard Man’s Karoo, in a village called Merweville, is the Springbok Lodge, owned by a dominee from Darling. Ask housekeeper Marina Witbooi to bake you some potbrood in the outside stove. Find farm butter and some of that home-made green fig jam, a glass of wine and a quiet place under a windmill. Trust me.

Die Ark

And at the end of a hard day’s photography along the Tombstone Route outside Williston, there’s nothing like a chocolate milkshake from Die Ark, sipped in a Hessian-shrouded gazebo under a full moon. Once you know where to look, there’s always something to eat in the Karoo…

Contact:

SELECTED KAROO NOSH SPOTS

• Karoo Kraal (Cradock): 072 227 6730
• Victoria Manor (Cradock): 048 881 1322
• Mila’s Restaurant (Cradock): 048 881 0036
• Schreiner Tea Room (Cradock): 048 881 5251
• Dagga Boer Pad Stal (Cradock-PE road): 082 568 6174
• Karroo Theatrical Hotel (Steytlerville): 049 835 0010
• Sophie’s Choice (Willowmore): 044 923 1117
• Two Goats Deli (Nieu Bethesda): 049 841 1602
• The Karoo Lamb (Nieu Bethesda): 049 841 1642
• Ronnie’s Sex Shop (Route 62 outside Barrydale): 028 572 1153
• Springbok Lodge (Merweville): 083 255 6931
• Die Ark (Williston): 049 835 0010
• Smithfield Tourism: 051 683 0133

**  Other sites: www.karooheartland.co.za; www.route62.co.za; www.baviaans.co.za

Text & Photographs by CHRIS MARAIS